Eww gross, if things ever became serious it would be like sleeping with my sister. If I were your parents and had to accept this man once as your sister's husband, and then have to be expected to welcome him as your husbandI would be ashamed, disgusted, and would consider your decision to marry this man as a betrayal. Is it okay to date my sister's "ex"? It appears that you have bought into his blaming-victim story. Why on earth would you ever do that? Every day you were married to that man would be destroying any relationship you may have with your parents and you sister. If I were Steve I would have to acknowledge that all along I was covertly seducing you; that I was squirreling away possibilities. It appears to me that by dating him before he's had counseling you're taking sides; that's going to come back on you someday. That's not to say you don't love each other, it's that the love has become conceptualized. If you don't get to your cause in the matter you will keep living and dramatizing the blaming lie—that you had nothing to do with their divorce. The loving support is missing. Your brother-in-lawthe man you want to marrymade a promise to your sister, your parents, her whole family, and to God, that he would have your sister as his wife until they both died. My sister was divorced a few years before so I introduced them knowing full well, that meant relinquishing all claims and feelings for him. You will no longer be able to say you didn't know.
Dating someone who supports deceit always always produces undesirable karma. He could not bring himself to tell you and your sister the truth, up front, so he did his "friend" act. Some of your sister's anger has to do with the fact that she has not acknowledged the hurt, upset, and anger she caused his first ex. Do you think he will keep the same promise with you? If you don't get to your cause in the matter you will keep living and dramatizing the blaming lie—that you had nothing to do with their divorce. If I were Steve I'd have to be willing to acknowledge that no matter what I believe I've been up to the results clearly show that it's been my intention albeit an unconscious one to cause friction. There is an incomplete in your relationship with your sister and both parents. I really thought this is a honorable man, he asked me out but I was not ready for a relationship at the time. I tease her from time to time that she should have married him. Thank you for your feedback! She was a new born Christian, he was a Catholic. Such lessons are usually taught non-verbally. It won't work for you to continue dating him except that he agrees at your insistence to complete hours of coaching, therapy, or counseling, alone, without you. Sinclair , Rehabilitation D. I'm trying to figure out why people seem to think that if you put moldy bread into the refrigerator for a few years, they can take the bread back out and the mold will be gone. Yet another part of what this could be about for your sister is that she arrogantly thinks that there were no consequences for deceitfully having sex behind the backs of your parents—and, for supporting Steve in having sex behind the backs of his parents and possibly behind the back of his then wife. You would only drive a serious wedge between a fundamental relationship. Now we look at what this is really about for you. You will no longer be able to say you didn't know. Eww gross, if things ever became serious it would be like sleeping with my sister. You are all dramatizing the incompletes in your relationships with each other—childhood breakdowns in communication that each of you have suppressed. There is a way to effect harmony, however, it can't be done with your present leadership-communication skills. You set her up to lie to you. Most parents hypocritically espouse honesty but harbor withholds between themselves. Comment Box is loading comments Communicated responsibly it would read, "Knowing he was vulnerable and horny I seduced him.
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